{"id":150,"date":"2017-02-07T11:48:33","date_gmt":"2017-02-07T11:48:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/christine-madden.com\/?p=150"},"modified":"2017-02-07T11:51:01","modified_gmt":"2017-02-07T11:51:01","slug":"heartbreak-hotel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/heartbreak-hotel\/","title":{"rendered":"Heartbreak hotel"},"content":{"rendered":"
Just broken up with your partner? Freshly single and having to face the misery of a lonely Valentine’s Day? Help is at hand in the form of an alternative holiday for the heartbroken<\/h5>\n
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The heartache before the hospitality. Photograph: Christine Madden<\/p><\/div>\n

HERE IT COMES again, that most dreaded day of the year. Bad enough if you or your partner have to be frogmarched into shelling out for flowers, perfume, chocolates, aftershave, sex toys and dinners in overpriced restaurants. Excruciating if you\u2019re single and think everybody else but you is having a passionate evening with a strings-heavy soundtrack. Devastating if you\u2019ve recently broken up with your partner.<\/p>\n

What can you do to escape the frilly, pink world of Valentine\u2019s when your heart has been sledge-hammered? Luckily, you\u2019re not alone when you\u2019re alone. There are lots of new ways to avoid it.<\/p>\n

One of them lies nestled in an Alpine valley that looks like a picture on one of those chocolate boxes sold for the dreaded day. Sch\u00fcle\u2019s<\/a> hotel in Oberstdorf, a sport and health resort town in the southernmost tip of Bavaria, sits in the middle of a landscape that earns its right to the clich\u00e9 \u201cbreathtaking\u201d. Just looking at the ridge of snowy peaks against the sky feels like a mental peppermint, natural beauty like an intake of crisp air. The hotel features the \u201cIch bin ganz bei mir\u201d \u2013 \u201cTime for Me\u201d \u2013 holiday offered by Liebesk\u00fcmmerer<\/a>, a German counselling service for the broken-hearted.<\/p>\n

Breaking up is a trauma. You feel like the earth has collapsed under your feet<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The founder of Liebesk\u00fcmmerer, Elena Sohn, first approached Sch\u00fcle\u2019s about a year and a half ago with the concept. \u201cAt first, I had to smile,\u201d says Karl-Arnold Sch\u00fcle, the director of the award-winning, family-owned hotel. But after discussions with the Sohn and the hotel doctor, he realised that it was a service his hotel was ideally suited to provide. What makes it different from just another relaxation holiday or detox? \u201cWe tend to each person individually,\u201d he says. The programme for each guest is tailor-made to suit their specific wishes and needs. And special touches are added for those still aching after a breakup, such as inspirational messages on cards left for guests on their pillow.<\/p>\n

The Time for Me break includes a consultation with the hotel doctor, during which visitors can discuss which treatments would suit them best. These include a range of massages and Kneipp cure therapies, saunas, participation in Sch\u00fcle\u2019s many hiking and indoor and outdoor sporting activities and personal counselling.<\/p>\n

From the front, the hotel looks friendly, inviting but not unusual. But the back of the hotel opens out to a valley sweeping towards the towering Alps. This view graces almost every public and treatment space in the hotel \u2013 from the tranquil indoor pool to the various spa therapy rooms to the saunas. Sch\u00fcle\u2019s also features a ladies-only sauna \u2013 open to men one day a week \u2013 and a \u201croom of stillness\u201d: Zeitlos (English: \u201ctimeless\u201d). Apparently this room is so well insulated, the glass triple-glazed, that you can\u2019t even get a mobile signal \u2013 so no chance of sending your ex a recriminatory text or scanning Facebook to see what they\u2019re up to.<\/p>\n

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Ulrike Fohn, one of the Liebesk\u00fcmmerer therapists. Photograph: Christine Madden<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cBreaking up is a trauma,\u201d says \u00a0Ulrike Fohn<\/a>, one of the Liebesk\u00fcmmerer therapists who works with the \u201cTime for Me\u201d guests. \u201cIt comes suddenly, you feel like the earth has collapsed under your feet. You\u2019ve got to release the shock, the fear.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fohn is an alternative practitioner and healer of physical and emotional illness who lives and works nearby. Her voice is soothing, her warm smile full of empathy. The window behind her opens out to sunshine glinting off the mountain snow \u2013 a panorama radiating majesty and peace.<\/p>\n

Hidden in the crisis of heartache, there\u2019s an amazing opportunity to discover happiness<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Many people traumatised by a breakup had focused their entire life and happiness on their partner. They feel like \u201cthe earth has crumbled beneath their feet\u201d, says Fohn. \u201cIt\u2019s like they\u2019ve outsourced the fulfilment of their most important needs. Then their partner breaks the contract.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fohn treats her patients in hours-long sessions. \u201cThe key is: accept it,\u201d she says. Struggling against reality isn\u2019t helpful. She\u2019ll assist you in recognising the unconscious thought and behaviour patterns that keep pushing you back into toxic situations and pain. Then, she says, \u201cYou have to treat yourself with understanding and love.\u201d And not be afraid to seek help.<\/p>\n

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Elena Sohn, author and founder of Liebesk\u00fcmmerer. Photograph: Christine Madden<\/p><\/div>\n

Liebesk\u00fcmmerer was the brain child of former PR consultant Elena Sohn. She launched the service after being left by her then partner in 2008 \u2013 \u201cor maybe 2009, I\u2019m really not sure anymore\u201d, she says, indicating how far she\u2019s come since then. At the time, however, Sohn was paralysed with grief. While visiting friends, she noticed that achieving distance was helpful. Why, she thought, is there a medical therapy for every little ailment but not for heartache? The name is a German play on words: Liebeskummer<\/em> = heartache, k\u00fcmmern<\/em> = to take care of.<\/p>\n

Based in Berlin, Sohn now says, \u201cI would never suffer so much from a breakup again\u201d. She has also written two books: Schluss mit Kummer, Liebes!<\/em> (No More Anguish, Dear!), and Goodby, Herzschmerz<\/em> (Goodbye, Heartache). The latter describes her \u201cGl\u00fccksherz<\/em>\u201d (happy heart) technique of getting over heartbreak \u2013 and never experiencing it so violently again.<\/p>\n

But can you mend someone\u2019s heart in a mini-break? \u201cWe no longer try to cure only acute heartache, but work with you to change your perspective,\u201d says Sohn. \u201cI urge people to see that, hidden in their crisis of heartache, there\u2019s an amazing opportunity to discover what sources of happiness there still are in their life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sites such as Never Liked it Anyway and Exboyfriend Jewelry will help you sell and\u00a0turn\u00a0reminders of your ex into cash<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The attention you receive is personalised and indulgent. When Petra Stein\u2019s (not her real name) six-year relationship came to an end after a devastating breakup last year, she wrote to Sohn. Having arranged her escape, Stein staggered into Sch\u00fcle\u2019s for a four-day visit.<\/p>\n

As soon as she arrived, \u201cthe Sch\u00fcle family took me into their care\u201d, Stein says. Frau Sch\u00fcle accompanied her on group hikes in the mountains. She had treatments and massages, revelled in the tranquillity of the hotel and its Alpine location and ate her fill every night at the restaurant. Before she got there, she says, \u201cI hadn\u2019t been able to eat for weeks and lost 16 kg\u201d.<\/p>\n

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Special tub for a luxury bath at Sch\u00fcles. Photograph: Christine Madden<\/p><\/div>\n

Stein also partly met two other Liebesk\u00fcmmerer clients who were visiting at the same time. They shared their stories, propped each other up \u2013 and continued to stay in touch after they left. Now close friends, they\u2019ve since been back to Sch\u00fcle\u2019s for a return visit, and spent New Year\u2019s \u2013 that other notorious holiday for making singles feel ostracised \u2013 together in Berlin.<\/p>\n

After the huge popularity of the (body) detox, the concept of an emotional detox feels like the next big thing. It could be a way of reaching people who might not normally come for help, surmises Kate Curtis<\/a>, a therapist practising just outside of Dublin, Ireland who has extensive training in various healing practices, such as reflexology, acupuncture, Celtic herbalism and holotropic breathwork. \u201cI think it\u2019s very clever, because it\u2019s taking away some of the stigma attached from some of the psychology treatments that people might need to go for, that people would resist because of that stigma,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cA breakup is a huge shock,\u201d says Curtis. \u201cBut it can be the catalyst for opening up the gates.\u201d She cautions, however, that you should choose a practitioner very carefully, and follow it up. \u201cYou need to take care of yourself in the weeks afterward. Once a gate is opened, it\u2019s important that it stays opened. It can contract a few days later, and that can be painful.\u201d<\/p>\n

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On the way to Sch\u00fcles, the Alps framing the landscape. Photograph: Christine Madden<\/p><\/div>\n

At Chewton Glen Hotel<\/a> and Spa in the UK, Denise Leicester<\/a> \u2013 qualified nurse, aromatherapist, yoga teacher and yogic healer \u2013 also conducts emotional detox courses. \u201cWe are \u2018feeling beings\u2019, yet staying emotionally balanced and learning how to restore \u2018emotional wellbeing\u2019 is not often supported or even acknowledged,\u201d says Leicester, who is also the founder and CEO of ila, an organic skincare, spa product and treatment company. \u201cThe emotional detox is offered as a gentle way to become more in touch with oneself and to enable toxic emotions to be released, restoring harmony and happiness.\u201d The ila retreat at Chewton Glen \u201ccan offer space, support and nurturing in a healing environment where emotions can be released and balance restored.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although cohabitation seems to be reducing the divorce rate somewhat, it still remains high \u2013 there were, for example, still an average of 13 divorces an hour in England and Wales in 2012. There aren\u2019t any statistics for breakups, but sales of ice cream, chocolates and Ad\u00e8le albums have certainly not flagged. All fodder for the burgeoning breakup industry and its trailblazing services. The Breakup Shop<\/a>, for example, will send a letter, email or text to your soon-to-be ex. In their shop, you can also order your ex a present, such as a Netflix gift card or box of cookies. (Their Poo Smell Card is currently sold out.) Facebook is currently trialling a new Take a Break<\/a> tool that will help screen you from your ex\u2019s feed (and your ex from yours) to help you achieve distance. Sites such as Never Liked it Anyway<\/a> and Exboyfriend Jewelry will help you get rid of physical reminders of your ex by helping you sell and turn them into cash. Or you can donate them to the Museum of Broken Relationships (see panel below).<\/p>\n

But maybe it\u2019s best to start at Sch\u00fcle\u2019s with a caring, indulgent break as an antidote breakup. As you enjoy the five-course dinner with a book, take note of your surroundings: you might see that the couple at the next table hardly exchange a word. Maybe being single isn\u2019t such a bad thing after all.<\/p>\n

A version of this article<\/a> appeared in the magazine<\/em> N by Norwegian in February 2016<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/h4>\n

Other destinations for the dumped<\/h4>\n

Different phases of breaking up call for different antidotes. Feeling hungry? Adventurous? Or gleefully vengeful? Try a break at one of these locations<\/p>\n

Museum of Broken Relationships<\/strong><\/p>\n

When Croatian artists Olinka Vi\u0161tica and Dra\u017een Grubi\u0161i\u0107 ended their relationship, a joke about what to do with the object left behind turned into a museum<\/a>. Since starting up in 2006, it\u2019s gone on tour all over the world. Next tour starts this month [February 2016], or visit the museum in Zagreb.<\/p>\n

Tuscookany \u2013 cookery holidays in Tuscany<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now that your ex, who always did the cooking, is gone, it\u2019s time to learn how to make fantastic pasta yourself. Where better than in a cooking course at a villa<\/a> in gorgeous Tuscany. Get occupied, learn something new and bring back a skill to make your friends (maybe even the ex?) jealous.<\/p>\n

Anti-Valentine\u2019s Party<\/strong><\/p>\n

Want to turn sad into mad? Dry your tears and head for the annual Anti-Valentine\u2019s Party<\/a> at Birds Caf\u00e9 and Bar in LA. They serve food and special drinks \u2013 such as blackheart martinis \u2013 and previous parties have featured male and female pi\u00f1atas to bash and possibly voo-doo dolls. Having fun is the best revenge.<\/p>\n

The Chocolate Museum, Cologne<\/strong><\/p>\n

Need to indulge? Short of taking a bath in chocolate, you can visit the Chocolate Museum<\/a> in Cologne, near its famous mediaeval cathedral. Take the tour, overwhelm your senses with the sights and smells, let one chocolate after another melt across your tongue, visit the cathedral and expiate. Then start over.<\/p>\n

Exotics Racing \/ N\u00fcrburgring<\/strong><\/p>\n

To get your heart racing again, why not drive an exotic luxury car around the Nevada desert? At Exotics Racing<\/a> in Las Vegas, you can drive a Lamborghini, Ferarri, Porsche and more \u2013 or be driven in one. In Europe, the N\u00fcrburgring<\/a> racetrack offers a broad palette of motoring experiences, including watching racing or speeding down the track yourself.<\/p>\n

Gelato Museum<\/strong><\/p>\n

All wrapped up in a duvet to eat ice cream by the pint? Soothe your heartache the classy way and visit the Gelato Museum<\/a> just outside Bologna. After learning about the history of ice cream, getting introduced to the art of Italian gelato, sample the artisan product and melt away.<\/p>\n

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Sch\u00fcles Hotel, Oberstdorf, Germany: a winter paradise. Photograph courtesy Sch\u00fcles Hotel<\/p><\/div>\n

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Serenity: the care put in by the Liebesk\u00fcmmerer. Photograph: Christine Madden<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just broken up with your partner? Freshly single and having to face the misery of a lonely Valentine’s Day? Help is at hand in the form of an alternative holiday for the heartbroken HERE IT COMES again, that most dreaded day of the year. Bad enough if you or your partner have to be frogmarched […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":181,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions\/181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}