\u201cOH GOD,\u201d cried the man on the park bench, and buried his face in his hands. \u201cGod, what am I doing here? What’s the point? What does it all mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
The pinstripe-suited woman on the other side of the bench glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Then she wrapped her sandwich, stood up and walked away briskly.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod, why am I such a loser?\u201d he moaned. \u201cAnd now I’m even talking to myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot entirely,\u201d said a warm and friendly voice. The man looked back at the place where the woman was just sitting. Someone else had plonked himself down. A rather dapper looking man wearing a black leather jacket like his, black jeans like his and black trainers like his. Only the other man\u2019s things looked new. And posh. Like they came from Hugo Boss. Not Lidl, like his.<\/p>\n
\u201cEm, do you mind?\u201d said the first man. \u201cI\u2019m having a very private nervous breakdown here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t let me interrupt,\u201d said the dapper, Hugo Boss man. \u201cOnly you\u2019re why I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook mate, I\u2019m not your type. Go hit on someone at the Four Seasons bar.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I think you\u2019re exactly my type. I\u2019ve been waiting for you for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
‘I deal in the strongest drug of all’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The man looked at Hugo Boss man. Calling the police was not an option. He got up.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, you don’t want to leave just yet,\u201d said dapper man.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you want?\u201d said Lidl man, suspicious.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou.\u201d Dapper man smiled. It was an oily smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you, I\u2019m not your type.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, but you are. You see \u2013 sit down,\u201d dapper man said as the other man reconsidered and prepared to make a break for it. \u201cI won’t beat about the bush. I\u2019m Mephistopheles, and I\u2019ve \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou’re messin\u2019 with me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMephistopheles. Old Nick. I\u2019ve come to help you achieve your wildest dreams.”<\/p>\n
“Fuck off.”<\/p>\n
“No, really. I can get you anything you want.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about some coke?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mephistopheles \u2013 formerly dapper man \u2013 pulled a small plastic bag out of his smart leather jacket and held it out to his new friend.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, em,\u201d said the first man, pocketing the bag, \u201cactually, I meant Coke. Like in the can? I\u2019m dying of thirst.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t go dying on me just yet. We have to seal our bargain first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo bargains.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mephistopheles snapped his fingers, then bought a can of Coke from a vendor who instantly walked by them on the path.<\/p>\n
\u201cWouldn\u2019t you like the power to summon everything you want to yourself at any moment? For the rest of your life?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you a dealer?\u201d asked the first man.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf a kind. I deal in the strongest drug of all.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMeths? Plutonium?\u201d<\/p>\n
“Those are human drugs.”<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, and yours are from Mars, are they?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you, I\u2019m Mephistopheles. My drug is the human soul. You\u2019re not using yours, and I could certainly make use of it, so how about it? Do we have a deal?\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man stared at him, and took a sip of his Coke. \u201cSo, you could get me clothes like yours?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBetter,\u201d grinned Mephistopheles. \u201cTake a look at yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
The first man looked, and widened his eyes. He was now wearing the finest leather, the smartest jeans, the coolest trainers money could buy. Except he hadn\u2019t bought them.<\/p>\n
‘That’s like Mary Poppins’s fuckin’ carpet bag’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\u201cShite!\u201d He took another swig of Coke. \u201cHow about a whiskey?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mephistopheles pulled a bottle of aged single malt out of his jacket.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat jacket is like Mary Poppins\u2019s fuckin\u2019 carpet bag.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood old Mary,\u201d said Mephistopheles. \u201cWe dated for a while. Then I dumped her for Margaret Thatcher.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSweet,\u201d said the first man.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, do we have a deal, Johann?\u201d said Mephistopheles.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo we have a deal, Johann?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, my name\u2019s not Owen,\u201d said the first man.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes it is. Johann Faust.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I\u2019m Nigel. Nigel McPartland. Or Nidge. And Feckface. But at least that\u2019s better than, what was it? Owen Faust? Loser name.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what are you doing here? I\u2019m supposed to encounter Johann Faust on this bench. I’ve been waiting for… well, for ages,\u201d spluttered Mephistopheles, who no longer looked so dapper.<\/p>\n
Nidge reached into his new jacket. \u201cRight, it\u2019s still here. This the lad you’re looking for?\u201d He pulled a credit card out of the wallet he retrieved and showed it to Mephistopheles.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, that’s him. What are you doing with his wallet?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI flattened the fucker and stole his car. I was just feeling bad about it when you turned up. I thought you were the fuzz. Nice to see you\u2019re not, though.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mephistopheles stroked his chin thoughtfully, and a dapper pointy beard appeared on it beneath his fingers. \u201cHmmmm.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, deal still on?\u201d asked Nidge. He spat into the palm of his right hand and held it out.<\/p>\n
Mephistopheles looked at him. Then he grinned, spat in his hand and grasped Nidge\u2019s. \u201cI think this will turn out just fine,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u00a0A version of t<\/em>his\u00a0story originally appeared in the German magazine\u00a0<\/em>Spotlight<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cOH GOD,\u201d cried the man on the park bench, and buried his face in his hands. \u201cGod, what am I doing here? What’s the point? What does it all mean?\u201d The pinstripe-suited woman on the other side of the bench glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Then she wrapped her sandwich, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-sketches"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=183"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":197,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions\/197"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christine-madden.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}